Who’s in Charge? Grief and Institutional Betrayal

A time of uncertainty

In this topsy-turvy political season, many of us are reeling from the fast-paced dramas and unforeseen curve balls taking place in real time. From the presidency and the Supreme Court to the news media and celebrities, it seems everyone has an opinion and yet, somehow, no one is in charge. 

It’s no wonder that these rapid changes have been accompanied by an erosion of public trust. A Gallup poll in June 2023 confirmed that public confidence in America’s major institutions remains at record lows.   

What is institutional betrayal?

Institutional betrayal occurs when an institution – like a school or university, religious institution, or workplace – fails to protect its members or directly causes harm. Modern examples of institutional betrayal include the widespread sexual abuse of children within the Catholic church, and universities failing to respond with justice and support to student victims of sexual assault. 

Survivors can experience trauma as a result of gaslighting or shaming by institutions in addition to the original trauma of being harmed. Even those who didn’t directly experience abuse or misconduct can be affected by the loss of trust that occurs when institutions fail to take responsibility and do the right thing. 

When institutional betrayal causes grief

Grief is a common response to institutional betrayal, and like other types of grief, this can encompass a variety of emotions such as denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. These grief responses can be shaped by the following factors:

1. Loss of trust

When we experience betrayal at the institutional level, it can trigger a loss of trust that may mirror other experiences of abandonment or mistreatment in relationships. This profound grief can be akin to losing a loved one. 

2. Loss of identity

We often strongly identify with our institutions – our universities, sports teams, or political parties, for example. When an institution fails us and we begin to question our commitment – or decide to leave altogether – it can shake our sense of identity and threaten our sense of social belonging. 

3. Loss of community

When an institution changes beyond recognition, or we opt out and leave, we suffer not only a personal loss but also a loss of a community which we once valued. This can compound our sense of grief and isolation. 

4. Sense of injustice

Institutional betrayal results from institutional failures or outright misconduct. Whether or not we experienced this harm directly, it can trigger intense feelings of injustice, righteous anger, or even shame about our ties to the institution. 

Case study: University of the Arts closure

The sudden closure of the University of the Arts in Philadelphia in June 2024 is an example of an event that led to a widespread sense of institutional betrayal throughout the university community. With less than one month’s notice, students were left with unfinished degrees, and faculty and staff had no assurance of continued pay and benefits. 

In the immediate aftermath of the announcement of the university’s pending closure, students and faculty took to the streets in a loud and colorful protest that called out the school’s leadership for their failures. It’s no wonder that some students questioned whether they would ever enroll in school again. 

Healing from institutional betrayal

What can you do when facing institutional betrayal, a turbulent time when much is out of your control? Here are a few important steps you can take: 

1. Acknowledge the betrayal: Naming the injustice, validating your emotions, and sharing your experience can reduce shame and stigma and foster connection.

2. Advocate for change: Channel your grief and rage into advocating for more ethical institutions and a more just society.

3. Seek support: Participate in therapy or support groups to work through the effects of institutional betrayal. Healing takes time, but you can make peace with the past, cultivate wise discernment, and learn to trust again. 

Finding the support you need

Institutional betrayal can affect anyone, whether the harm occurred yesterday or ten years ago. Your grief is valid, and it’s a sign of strength to seek support. 

Consider working with a licensed therapist specializing in grief to process your experience. With the right support, you can heal from the trauma of institutional betrayal, discover new ways to build community, and find a sense of true belonging.